chapter 2 - ending is a new beggining

Dead? what's dead?

Dead, dead, dead going through my head day and night. Ricci never told me that word mean, and I didn't understand yet everybody told me that Ricci is dead.

My eyes stung as I stared down at Ricci pale, waxy face. Ricci looked peaceful, but empty. There was nothing left of him but a hollow container of flesh that held no promise of waking.The sunlight was blinding as I looked up against the glare, my heart beat was peddling out of my chest. I was waiting for him, I was breathing for him. My eyes close as a shadow passes between me and the warmth.

The male took my hand and he held it softly, the brush of his fingertips so unlike Ricci. The sun, the warm sun was so bright. I close my eyes. I was lead to a place full of people.The tears they cried were for him.

The male gave me a smile that said it was time.

"What do you mean? What's dead by the way?"

The male widened his eyes and his mouth keeps opened and closed like he was tried to say something but that word never come out. After a while he smiled and started to explain something that better left unknown.

"Dead means Ricci's no longer in this world, he went away to the far far away star above us, star that we could never reach unless we're die."

My heart tightening, scared of what was I hearing, my chest heaved heavily, my mind gone blank, I quietly huddled in the hidden corner. I fall into a sit and lean back against one of the walls, folding myself up into as small of a ball as I can manage.And then I wait. And wait. And wait. It seems like I've been sitting in here for days but I know it can't be quite that long.

My forehead rests against one of my knees and I close my eyes, thinking back on my life to keep my mind off the present.

After pulled myself together, I took my final place by his side. He was sleeping like an angel, he looked so happy. My heart beat quickened, and I watched the first drip of rain touch his cheek, caressing along the side of the pale ivory flesh.

"Why were you leaving me? Why did you have to go?"

 I cried, as I clung on tight, my knees were buckling, and I was sinking to the ground.People were murmuring and I was falling.

"Can you shut me down? Please?"

I looked up to the male and wait his reaction hope he will give me the nodded. I want him to shut me down, I know I can't have something that as called as die because I was never be born or alive from the first place. 

"Do you really wish for it? Don't you wanna to hear his last letter first?"

I nodded. The rain was still falling but wasn't touching me, it only soaked him, the rain, they were my tears. I began to wipe them away. my hands reaching down and grabbing his much colder one. I entwined our fingers bringing it to my lips. The cold brush of that soft flesh a reminder for me about how far you are.

"I am not going any where, my dear, I am merely taking a new residence, some where closer where I will never leave. I will be here, always, just close your eyes and dream, I will be there, holding your hand, just breathe. Touch your chest, you can feel something there right now, my heart is in you, we'll never be apart."

I was clutching to him clinging to his suit with hope that tomorrow would never come. I touch my chest and I could feel something there. For the first time in centuries, I felt a bittersweet twinge in the pit of his stomach as he parted ways with Ricci.

"Now, say your goodbyes, and love me always."

I nod with sadness as I knew it was the only way, I would continue breathing for him , he would always be with me. I opened my eyes to the world a new, he was gone, but not truly gone. I hurt it's true, but I still was here. I would make it, even if it was alone.

"I'll always love you, and now is my turn to make you. I can't do it, Ricci. I can't continue without you"

I know I'm crazy, talking to a dead person. I miss him so much. I didn't think he'd understand.I never told him how I feel. But he felt the same.

Making my way back to my feet, I leaned down. He looked like an angel with a twinge of a smile, I could see his humor even in death, I could see his love even though he felt nothing. I forgive you for having to go.

My breathing was slow and deep, I knew, my heart isn't just beating for me, it would be beating for the both of us. My rain had stopped, and I felt nothing.

I was trembling with the effort of restraining myself. Then I was smiling up at the sky, tears streaming from my eyes and tracing shimmering paths down my cheeks.

I'll make Ricci just like he made me, I'll make his heart beat again like he made my heart beat, I'll teach him feeling just like he used to taught me, and make me not lonely anymore like I used to made him not lonely.

Someday, I'll return to him someday. 

to be continued... or not?